Save Sincerity

Sometimes I have the thought, the urge, to forget everything—all beliefs—all creeds—all rites—all ways—save sincerity.

In these moments I see Jesus the gardener.

But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been.

And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid him.”

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.

Jesus said to her, “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

—John 20:11-17


hd hain

August, 2018





Lord, help me to be true, to write what is true. To let go of all preconceived notions. To be free. To be a complete servant. Truth. Honesty. Sincerity. Beauty. You are Love. Help me not be afraid. Truth. Truth. Truth.



Purely passive in Your perfect presence.

Purely active in Your perfect presence.

Pure state of pure receptivity.

Pure state of pure transferability.



Speak Lord, Your servant is nailed into place.



Our circumstances are the instruments of the Passion.

Let them nail you into place, let them hold you up upon the cross, so you may listen, so you may draw all people to yourSelf.



hd hain



Illegibles (1)



There’s no inner room if you take the outer room in with you.



Jesus doesn’t ask you to buy a raffle ticket.



If a church can’t survive on passing a basket it can’t survive.

If a church can’t survive it shouldn’t.

If a church doesn’t survive it’s no longer (or never was) a church.



The best thing the Catholic Church could do is start new parishes. Not combine existing parishes. Not renovate. Not restore. Not rebuild. Not even resurrect.

Establish. Brand new parishes. With no history or patrimony except the Virgin Tradition of the Saints.



Crucifix woven from hay.

Altar constructed of straw.

Tabernacle able to decay.



Penance is to offer up what time-alone desires.

Sacrifice is to give away what you’re told to cherish.

To one who believes penance and sacrifice are delight.


hd hain

July 2018



The only offering is spending time. Not work. Not words. Not posts or pages. Stop it all. Time alone. Time being. Existence. Come what may. Could that be the only offering I am to make? Only contribution. Life spent in interest. In what’s good. With goodness. No preconceived notions what it looks like. A hiking stick. Evergreen. Nothing but interest. Not service. Not preaching. Not helping. Not writing. Not making. Not producing. Not part of a team. Only interest. Only footprints of varying weight. Or perhaps none at all.


Howard Hain

December, 2017


The Heavy Footed Thug

On time for which Id rather not

The heavy-footed thug storms thru the sage

Crushing the flower that adored his table

Now petal’s pigment stains the stone

She loves me not” rattles the walls

His victim defeated before he began

His rants begin to strike his rage

But burdened by the weight of the shouldered beast

He scrapes to the floor

While what remains of the rose soaked in sorrow shivers away


—Howard Hain


(ca. 2000)