At times I am a complete mess. I can’t tell good from bad, bad from good, guilt and shame from blessing and joy. I need discernment. And it comes—for God is faithful. Then I usually begin to see that both good and bad have occurred, and I am somewhat able to separate them. But as I do I begin to become more and more aware of just how thin the rope I am walking. So thin it’s not even visible. So thin that for all practical purposes it’s not even there—it doesn’t exist. So after discernment comes a call, a begging, for more faith, more trust, more humility, more courage, more hope. For walking in thin air is not something I can ever get into this thick head.


Howard Hain  Oct. 13  2018



Untitled 10/2/18

Middle of the night

The only thing darker is the quiet

September nights

Windows open



An occasional loud slap

Is someone being attacked?

Of course not

It’s a couple

She’s being killed

She’s giving birth

She’s coming

But what about the neighbors?

Will someone call the cops?

She’s so loud

We should all cover our ears

We shouldn’t be involved

How can she be so oblivious?

It’s wonderful.

Like children in the park

Screaming their hearts out

Not a care in the world

Not a moment of others ears

Not a second thought of others opinions

Only joy

Only release

Only death

Only life

Only coming and coming and coming

The entire neighborhood reclined in the afterglow

How could something so real just have happened?


Howard Hain  Oct. 18  2018